prongle

7 years ago we (myself and my mates from back home) went on a stag do to Torquay. It was a weekend and consisted of drinking and drinking only. Pick up was 1000 on the Friday and the return time was 1600 on the Sunday. I specifically remember opening my first can of beer for the journey up north at 1030, my last one was around 1000 on Sunday before getting back in the car (as a passenger) to return home. It was solid drinking and nothing else. As we woke each day we were given a can of larger. It was hard work, I cannot believe I managed it. 

 

The reason I say that is because most of that original bunch have rejoined to 'Hit Blackpool' for the final stag do of those bunch of lads and it's safe to say we're getting old. I had to race up on a train from Oxfordshire to attempt to join them whilst they were fairly sober. Was quite worried as I didn’t manage to get a 6-pack of larger for the train up and I assumed I would arrive at 1800 to the sight of all the lads wrecked and me playing catch up. Turns out, I didn’t need to worry about that 6-pack as they all were stone cold sober. Because they didn’t have a drop of ale on the way up, first point for us getting old.

 

Second, after spending the a few hours drinking we returned to the hotel for a shower, change then back out for drinking. Seems some of the boys needed a nap, so after a 3 hour break we returned to drinking at 2100, feeling good and refreshed.

 

Third and probably the worst case was the night club. We paid (An extortionate amount in some peoples eyes) £5 to get in, walked to the dance floor, watched some young people dancing to something that barely resembled music and decided to leave. The next day my brother said;

 

‘That club was shit!’ 

‘Are we getting old or was it really that shit?’ I quizzically replied.

‘The music was just too loud’ He said covering one ear.

‘I’ll ask again, ARE WE GETTING OLD or was it really that shit?’

 

I think we were all in agreement of the answer.

Being a helicopter crewman doesn’t leave you a plethora of options on the ‘outside world’.  Like many in our band of merry men, I would love to have a second career.  The problem is though, where? 

 

I think my dream since being a young boy was to fly commercial aircraft all over the world.  Not necessarily people on board, but more than likely freight.  Because they are the big old classic aircraft that aren’t suitable for pax carrying anymore and generally are the most exciting to fly.  But lets be realistic, I need to achieve a Private Pilots License and a Commercial Pilots License all within the next 16 years.  That isn’t going to happen whilst we’re as busy as we are right now with operations and exercises.

 

Writing is obviously something I enjoy as I like to bore you with posts on here, this one is probably more realistic as I could attempt an A-Level in English Language and English Literature to develop my writing skills further then attend a creative writing or journalism course through the RAF.  Not sure I could make a decent living from it though as I get bored quickly and like to write about something new before I finish my current piece.  That shows with all the unfinished work I have in my docs folder on my MacBook!

 

Teaching is something I feel I could enter without too much hassle.  The resettlement program the military provide is supposed to be superb, with teaching being a fairly standard route the MOD seem to have that path covered.  2 A-Levels would be required from me, but I would love one of them to be modern history and preferably ancient history.  Leading me nicely onto becoming a history teacher, but more specifically one in college or university.  I don’t think I could do secondary school as I think it may become too frustrating attempting to teach people who just don’t want to be there.  At least with college or uni the students have chosen your course on purpose.  Eventually I would love to teach military history and draw on my own past experience too.

 

I feel fairly stable in where I want to go when finishing my military career, more so than a year ago when I really had no idea.  For now though its flying, banter, drinking tea, enjoying the social scene and continuing to make some really good friends.

 

Det mouth is the unfortunate affect of being on detachment (e.g.  Afghanistan) and around people who swear on a regular basis.  Also known as Det Tourettes, it is the uncontrollable urge to swear when it is not required at all.  Every other word becoming a fuck or fucking, everything around you becoming a ‘fucking <insert object here>’ and even worse, ‘He’s a fucking c***’.  The ‘C’ bomb does become fairly normal language whilst on detachment for some people.

 

I’m sure it isn’t the same for everyone, but on all my detachments and speaking to other people it is just something that seems to creep up on you without even knowing.  You will be sat in the mess hall (Which we will come onto later) and you will hear a barrage of constant swearing from a table across the hall.  Without even realising you will say ‘I wish that fucking prick will keep his swearing down’.  BANG, you’re in, Det Mouth has begun.  It can begin earlier though, my last detachment it began on the coach. ‘Can’t be arsed with this fucking shit’. BANG, I was in.

 

With Det Mouth come another thing I will call Det Behaviour.  That isn’t its official name, but it will be the name I will use for now.  It is a strange phenomenon that only seems to arise when people are on detachment.  Their moods will change, their free time activities will change, their attitude towards the hierarchy will change, but more importantly and more significant to others, the practical jokes will begin.

 

Like most humans, at times we get bored.  Detachment can be that place sometimes, this isn’t me saying we do nothing at all, quite the opposite.  We do a huge amount of work for the maximum 10 hours we may be flying then all of a sudden the next day you’re off flying duties to have a rest day.  Boredom sets in VERY quickly, so you need to keep yourself busy.  It can range from the smallest of tasks to a big project, breaking some perishables for people or building a swing to sit on in your recreation area outside the block.  Its the small things that keep me going though, like being in the mess hall with plastic cutlery.  When someone arrives at your table with their food and plastic cutlery, if they place those things down on the table and walk off to get a drink, their stuff is free game.  The cutlery is instantly snapped (In its packet) then placed next to the meal as if nothing has happened.  The switched on veteran won’t get caught out and will take his cutlery everywhere.  The rookie will leave his cutlery on the table AND not have bothered to pick up a spare set.

 

They are all things that only seem to happen on detachment and its something you really need to slip out of quickly on arrival back to the UK.  Greeting your wife with ‘Alright you fucking c***’ never seems to go down too well.  Neither does attempting to bend all the cutlery your wife has laid out on the table for your favourite meal that night.  Getting back to normality is a big thing for the guys on the ground who have to see the horrific images I hope to never see.  Ours is much simpler in psychological terms and I am very grateful for that.

 

Now, leave a comment you fucking arseholes.

Recently I attended a course that showed me how easy it is to get information about people through the internet. Whether it be the 192.com website, a Google search or the nice and easy world of Facebook.  The information the instructors managed to find was pretty shocking and made some people quite shocked, so much so some even deleted their Facebook accounts.  I wasn't one of them though.

I have kept my Facebook account but have decided to not be so 'active' anymore.  Facebook is a great time waster, it saps time and life out of you like trying to watch an England football game or a 2 Pints Of Lager and a Packet Of Crisps boxset.  In the end after watching them you feel drained, fed up and totally unsatisfied.  Which is why I have deleted my Facebook app off my iPhone and decided not to make it one of my early morning webpage visits.

My morning consists of my alarm going off, grabbing my iPhone, checking my e-mail, checking Twitter, checking the news on the FT.com app and then finally BBC news.  All of this can take up to 15 minutes, but it is something I enjoy doing and has become part of my life, Facebook would add another 10 minutes to that already busy morning.  The FT.com app (Or iii.co.uk) will let me know which shares to take a punt on that morning, the BBC News website obviously gives me the latest news without the horrible spin and sensationalism that Sky News spout.  Twitter allows me to know whats going on with a few select friends/celebs.  

Facebook was a chance to find out who got drunk the night before or how Sarah's virtual farm is going.  As you can see, some of my morning could be viewed as rather important, the Facebook part seems simply dull. So my decision was made, time to attempt to rid my life of Facebook.  I didn't think deleting my account was the answer as it is a fairly useful service when you don't sit on it hour after hour.  To be able to keep in touch with old school friends, work mates and see photos from a recent function.  However, a simple e-mail with text, photos or a link to photos will cover all of those so why not use it?  I suppose the ease of use when it comes to Facebook is its biggest attraction, but for me its the time and life sapping qualities that have finally driven me away.

The chart above seems pretty realistic when it comes to social networking, except I think the initial buzz of Facebook actually plateaued whilst the changes to the 'new' Facebook were made. The growth began very soon after the short plateau and it has continued today with Facebook gaining its 500 millionth user. 

I don't think this is the end for Facebook, but surely it is only a matter of time before more and more people begin to get frustrated with their privacy policy, attempting to charge its users (If that ever happens) or the continued influx of ads and terrible games clogging up their walls.

I'm in the Royal Air Force.  I am a helicopter crewman.  I have been to some exciting places, done exciting things and seen incredible sights.  But like most jobs, we all have that 'admin' first day back after a long time off.  Here is a quick run down of today to show how boring my job can be like others.

0600 - Leaving my summer retreat to head into work

0750 - Arrive at the Squadron and decide to make a coffee

0810 - Morning brief

0830 - Catch up with work mates whom I haven't seen for 4 months

0930 - Make a coffee

0940 - Sit at computer, get password wrong a few times, being to read/delete 276 e-mails

1045 - Make a coffee and return to computer

1200 - Lunch, hand over wifes laptop to courier so it can be repaired

1300 - Get re-briefed on abandonment drills for aircraft (Yearly currency)

1500 - Catch up with more work mates over a coffee

1600 - Simulator (Emergency practice)

1800 - Day complete.

It's not all rockets, bullets and low flying you know!

 

 

edit: Courier not currier. He didn't turn her laptop into a curry.

There is something nice about reading a newspaper.  After being inspired by abitgone+ to think about how much I use electronic media compared to the old style I decided to have a little debate with myself.  As most people know, I love Apple.  In my eyes there is little they can do wrong, I love using my iPhone for everything possible.  I love the idea of having an iPad for no other reason than to write some of my thoughts/blog posts down and to look rather cool.  But when it comes down to it I'm just an old person really, I still write my shopping list on paper rather than use the iPhone app I purchased.  I still take down notes at work on a scrap bit of paper from the printer rather than the QuickOffice app I purchased.  I still write a diary in my leather bound book (Which I have many of) whilst away on detachment rather than use this superb £700 MacBook I purchased last year.   So why do I prefer to do things so old when I have all this kit available to me?

I think its probably down to the idea of me liking old ways.  I love the idea of sitting down and writing my diary on detachment with a huge quill and ink pot, scribing away the tales of the day with the gentle sound of the quill scratching against the parchment purchased just that day.  I love the idea of sitting down with my newspaper and browsing through the days news with a small cup of black coffee and The Today Show in the background.  Finally of course comes the man classic, sitting on the toilet and enjoying a great piece of classic literature like Victor Hugo's Les Miserable. I just love sitting down and browsing through something, whether it be on a train, a sofa, in a coffee shop or just on the toilet. Its the personal feel and the idea of walking to the shops to purchase the days news.  The fact I have watched the absolute most up to date news on the TV is irrelevant, I want to browse through yesterdays news and see the in depth analysis rather than the 30 second bite on News 24.

For me electronic media just doesn't offer that personal feel, the fact that everything is easily accessible, the idea of being able to search for something rather than browse through, the fact that you are less likely to stumble across something new than you are when browsing through a newspaper or magazine.  But then electronic media is fantastic BECAUSE of all those things.  The way you can flick from news story to news story, see a word or persons name, click on it and find out all the background of that person via the internet.  A whole collection of books in one small device is superb, but when I'm sat on a beach and reading the latest Peter James novel, the small child running past and kicking up sand would be a huge issue with an iPad in my hands.  With a book, it will simply be a cross face, a shake of a fist and a brush of the pages.

Its an old debate and I love both sides for very different reasons.  Until everyone agrees to start charging for news, the newspaper will be around for a long time delivering our news whilst munching toast, drinking coffee or sitting on the toilet.  But not at the same time, unless you like that.

As the G8 talks come to a close today, David Cameron has impressed me.  I can't say I have been impressed with the amount of my friends he has affected since coming into power, but these actions were required to get the country back on track.  If his coalition haven't been closing down departments and putting people out of jobs, he has been suspending projects putting people into a worrying situation as to whether their companies will still have work for them in the future.  I knew it was going to happen, I didn't think it would ever affect me so closely. However I realise that cuts had to be made, the country was far too deep into debt and needed to claw its way out.  It will mean some unhappy people, but hopefully they will be able to find work in the growing private sector.

Going back to the G8, Cameron has been very tough with his talking.  Not only has he made a point of showing how previous talks have achieved little, he has gone on to say that as world leaders they must do something about it.  He has done the same sort of tough talking in the UK and make sure (Especially during PMQ's) that he is boss and really wants to make a difference for this country.  I really hope that all this big chat in Canada will bring results for the nation and the world as a whole, time will tell.  The thing I'm really enjoying about David Cameron however is his pure devotion to making sure the UKs armed forces are well.  During a very important time for the world leaders to meet, he made sure that he dropped in his desire to get the troops out of Afghanistan by 2015.  Brown was talking of a withdrawal of troops by 2011/2012 and after being out there I'm not entirely sure this would have been ideal for the people of Afghanistan (As much as I would like to be heading away).

Only time will tell if Mr. Cameron will deliver on his promises, but I really hope he is going to be the breath of fresh air the country requires after the stagnant nature of Gordon Brown and his uncharismatic government.

 

The trumpet buzzing in the background of all football games at the world cup (I know what they are called but refuse to use the word)? The horrible amount of cheating seen last night during the South Africa - Uruguay game mainly from Luis Suarez? Or Nintendo and their lack of being able to bring out a game without attaching Mario, Zelda, Kirby or Metroid to it? First off, I could not believe the response from people about the trumpet things.  Seriously people, its not the end of the world.  Some have said its 'ruining football', a massive over reaction!  The noise in the background is typical of African football and people have embraced it in the stadium.  Yes the noise is annoying, yes it sounds like a bunch of bees, but come on its not ruining the game!  If anything the complete lack of goals and attacking football is ruining this world cup, the fact that the goals per game ratio (Yesterday before the Brazil match) was 1.5 per game.  Last tournament in Germany 2006 it was 2.5 per game, a far superior tournament.  The first round of games looked like teams trying to 'sus' each other out, hopefully now we come round to the second batch of games we should be able to see some action.  Uruguay showing promise by battering South Africa 3-0. Which brings me nicely onto the horrible cheating last night at that very game.  Luis Suarez was an absolute disgrace, as an example to children watching that game they will believe they can cheat to win.  I realise this has been going on for years and is deemed 'part of the game' but that was quite frankly disgusting.  It brought me back to World Cup 2002 and Rivaldo waiting to take a corner against Turkey, when the ball was kicked to him.  It hit him on the leg and he went down like he was shot in his face.  Thankfully he got fined, but only a pathetic £5,000 and of course, FIFA being FIFA didn't want a world star out of the final so no ban.  Suarez should be watched like a hawk from now on by referees and any suggestion of him being 'shot' near the penalty area should be a booking.

 

Speaking of bookings, I booked a place to watch the Nintendo part of the e3 conference (I didn't book a place, but had to link it somehow).  The first thing we see is the 'new' Zelda game on the Wii.  Was rather embarrassing for the chap attempting to show the world how great and precise the new Wii Plus is.  Unfortunately for him, the Wii was doing exactly what it does to everyone else.  Link was waving his sword all over the place like a mad conductor even when the controller was still, when trying to fire his amazing catapult Link was staring at the ground and spilling round like a dancing nutter.  The chap on stage made some excuse about Wi-Fi interference but lets be honest, the Wiimotes aren't great.  Until they get the accuracy sorted its going to always be that feeling of disappointment whilst playing.  Nintendo then followed up with a collection of games featuring the same usual toss old characters doing the same shitty things.  Come on Nintendo, do something new!  I do realise the Nintendo 3DS is new and I am excited about seeing that, shame about the games. Well that was just three small things that annoyed me yesterday, please do discuss as I'm getting bored writing these without any replies!

I thought our new Prime Minister had a fairly easy ride in PMQs today, but it was one that was made easy due Camerons ability and not the lack of leadership from the opposition. Harman did her best to press on certain points, but Cameron held firm with his policies and would not let her phase him. I think PMQs will be the moment Cameron shines, much like Blair he has the whit and ability to be quick with answers, but as we have seen today he's not willing to lay down answers he isn't sure of or willing to lie (I am fully aware that most MPs lie!). It was a breath of fresh air though to hear a PM speak so passionately about the armed forces and all we do over the world. I honestly believe a Conservative Government will see better conditions for us all. Let's hope the next PMQs will bring slightly more talking points.

Today, without leaving my bed, the FTSE made me a little bit of money.  Not a huge amount, but then again I didn't risk much cash on it.  A simple process called 'Spread Betting' takes away the brokers, the capital gains tax and adds excitement to an already exciting theatre of operations.

Spread betting is quite simply betting on if you think a share price will go up or down.  There are many websites out there explaining spread betting, but I gained all my knowledge from a book called The Naked Trader and through talking to traders at work.  There are risks within the betting, but a website called IG Index manages those risks for you an never lets you lose more than you are willing to put in.

Without explaining spread betting as a whole I will attempt to explain the basics, by using fake figures but real scenarios.

FTSE opens at 5000 and you have heard all about the BP news over the weekend, the weakening of the Euro and general bad news for all the markets.  So you predict the FTSE will fall in price and decide to bet £1 per point for each time the FTSE falls.

An hour into trading the FTSE is trading at 4950.  The difference is 50 points LOWER than what you purchased at, which at £1 per point you gain £50.  If on the other hand news appears that BP have stopped the leak, the Euro has suddenly bounced back and the FTSE suddenly climbs to 5050.  It is now 50 points HIGHER than you purchased at and owe IG Index £50.

As you can see its very easy to lose money quickly, but you can also quite easily make gains.  If you decide to have a go, enjoy it but be responsible!