prongle

Det mouth is the unfortunate affect of being on detachment (e.g.  Afghanistan) and around people who swear on a regular basis.  Also known as Det Tourettes, it is the uncontrollable urge to swear when it is not required at all.  Every other word becoming a fuck or fucking, everything around you becoming a ‘fucking <insert object here>’ and even worse, ‘He’s a fucking c***’.  The ‘C’ bomb does become fairly normal language whilst on detachment for some people.

I’m sure it isn’t the same for everyone, but on all my detachments and speaking to other people it is just something that seems to creep up on you without even knowing.  You will be sat in the mess hall (Which we will come onto later) and you will hear a barrage of constant swearing from a table across the hall.  Without even realising you will say ‘I wish that fucking prick will keep his swearing down’.  BANG, you’re in, Det Mouth has begun.  It can begin earlier though, my last detachment it began on the coach. ‘Can’t be arsed with this fucking shit’. BANG, I was in.

With Det Mouth come another thing I will call Det Behaviour.  That isn’t its official name, but it will be the name I will use for now.  It is a strange phenomenon that only seems to arise when people are on detachment.  Their moods will change, their free time activities will change, their attitude towards the hierarchy will change, but more importantly and more significant to others, the practical jokes will begin.

Like most humans, at times we get bored.  Detachment can be that place sometimes, this isn’t me saying we do nothing at all, quite the opposite.  We do a huge amount of work for the maximum 10 hours we may be flying then all of a sudden the next day you’re off flying duties to have a rest day.  Boredom sets in VERY quickly, so you need to keep yourself busy.  It can range from the smallest of tasks to a big project, breaking some perishables for people or building a swing to sit on in your recreation area outside the block.  Its the small things that keep me going though, like being in the mess hall with plastic cutlery.  When someone arrives at your table with their food and plastic cutlery, if they place those things down on the table and walk off to get a drink, their stuff is free game.  The cutlery is instantly snapped (In its packet) then placed next to the meal as if nothing has happened.  The switched on veteran won’t get caught out and will take his cutlery everywhere.  The rookie will leave his cutlery on the table AND not have bothered to pick up a spare set.

They are all things that only seem to happen on detachment and its something you really need to slip out of quickly on arrival back to the UK.  Greeting your wife with ‘Alright you fucking c***’ never seems to go down too well.  Neither does attempting to bend all the cutlery your wife has laid out on the table for your favourite meal that night.  Getting back to normality is a big thing for the guys on the ground who have to see the horrific images I hope to never see.  Ours is much simpler in psychological terms and I am very grateful for that.

Now, leave a comment you fucking arseholes.

As the G8 talks come to a close today, David Cameron has impressed me.  I can't say I have been impressed with the amount of my friends he has affected since coming into power, but these actions were required to get the country back on track.  If his coalition haven't been closing down departments and putting people out of jobs, he has been suspending projects putting people into a worrying situation as to whether their companies will still have work for them in the future.  I knew it was going to happen, I didn't think it would ever affect me so closely. However I realise that cuts had to be made, the country was far too deep into debt and needed to claw its way out.  It will mean some unhappy people, but hopefully they will be able to find work in the growing private sector.

Going back to the G8, Cameron has been very tough with his talking.  Not only has he made a point of showing how previous talks have achieved little, he has gone on to say that as world leaders they must do something about it.  He has done the same sort of tough talking in the UK and make sure (Especially during PMQ's) that he is boss and really wants to make a difference for this country.  I really hope that all this big chat in Canada will bring results for the nation and the world as a whole, time will tell.  The thing I'm really enjoying about David Cameron however is his pure devotion to making sure the UKs armed forces are well.  During a very important time for the world leaders to meet, he made sure that he dropped in his desire to get the troops out of Afghanistan by 2015.  Brown was talking of a withdrawal of troops by 2011/2012 and after being out there I'm not entirely sure this would have been ideal for the people of Afghanistan (As much as I would like to be heading away).

Only time will tell if Mr. Cameron will deliver on his promises, but I really hope he is going to be the breath of fresh air the country requires after the stagnant nature of Gordon Brown and his uncharismatic government.